Buenos Dias world,
Harry calling... My mum had this dickshit round last night and he was screaming the fucking place down -How could you fucking do that to me you fucking bitch! Just fucking use me then spit me out like those fucking female arachnids do with their male lovers, they just gobble them up and that's it; first course, second course! That's me! That's FUCKING MEEEEEEEEEE! HE WAS LOSING IT all over the shop; pulling what hair he had left out and just leaving it all over the floor... By the end of the screaming session the place looked like a barber's shop-floor!
My mum's cool as anything, just sits there, real cool, nice and flat like the sea on a calm day; just letting these fucking twats stand there shouting their heads off and biting their tongues out and spewing their guts up all over the place and then she just says -"Have you quite finished?" and that's it, histrionics over, job done. She sees them off the premises and they don't bother showing again.
You'd be amazed at the number of people who fall in love with prostitutes... I thought people who went to see prozzies did it because they didn't WANT love and didn't want anything to do with LOVE...? I mean, it's the last thing you expect isn't it. Fella avoiding his mrs goes to prozzie for quick shag- next minute fella's gazing into the eyes of the prozzie and declaring undying devotion!! ???? Maybe its the untouchability of the prostitute... at least you always know she's gonna be a whore in the bedroom anyway.
This guy last night had a fucking screw loose or something... I found a clump of hair in the tea-pot this morning; and one in the shower...?? Mum's a bit distraught, for her. She was shouting me this morning ..."Harry go and get me some fags...."
Usually she doesn't smoke 'til after lunch-time; that's one of her rules. ...Maybe she's getting a bit shaky about these things now she's getting older. She must be nearly sixty.
She wasn't expecting me; By that I mean she didn't plan it or even realise I existed ;til I was about four months in the womb-in utero. she thought she couldn't conceive- she thought she'd gone through the change already; that it was all over and done with; wash your hands of all that. And then fucking hell, she goes to the doctors and they point out that you can still conceive a child for up to three years after the menopause. Shit I wish I'd seen her face!
Anyway, there you go... it was either Carlos or Fernando; hence my dark Mexican eyebrows and paprika skin.
I've got her blue eyes though, like balls of bubble gum from a machine. Carlos is a bull-fighter now; he tours around the South of France and Spain and Fernando's in royal shackles at her majesty's leisure... HRH Royal Male in Chains behind bars in utero.
I wonder if there is a place called Utero...? Utero, Utah....
Ok, see ya
Harry