Dear world,
Rather aptly, it would seem; I am named after a brand of mayonnaise. Too true, at the moment I have FAR too much in common with the aforementioned condiment; that is to say, I am filled to the brim, to the neck, the earlobes and the fringe with white creamy substance. Its quantities are never ending... no sooner have I pumped a batch out of my system, than more and more of the stuff rises to the surface and needs expelling.
If you cut me, I would bleed spunk. I'm surprised it's not oozing out of my pores...
This fucking infinite excess of paraphernalia exposing the glorious lands that are: CHICKS BODIES... tits, pussies, widgies, ooooooooohhh baby, I could fill one of them tonight... like a rat inside a fajita... it's kind of putting me off my stride; I can't fucking concentrate. Everywhere I go, I wanna fuck! I thought about fucking my mum the other day, then thought better of it... I mean, she usually CHARGES for that particular service; PLUS she doesn't give me enough pocket money to justify such gross expenditure.
Maybe I could pimp her off to a couple of my friends and take a cut; there's always Orion next door; fresh meat, skin like jiz... beeeeeeeaaaaaaautiful baby! ORION come and suck me sweet thing! Baby you can sizzle on my stick all you want!! Shit man, the spunk is on the rise again; like fucking clockwork... you could set your watch by my erections.
Well, I'll tell you about my mum; she's called Carol. She's kind of saucy in a way that makes me wish she wan't my mum. If she wan't my mum I'd fucking bang her brains out. I don't know who my dad is... could be Carlos, could be Carlos' brother Fernando... no-one knows. Anyway, they split the child maintenance payments down the middle... pity I don't get double the money. No-one seems to have thought to do a paternity test; but that's just fucking typical. Ok, adios for now.
Harry