harry hellman's hole truth

Well fuck me it's snowing and the sky is baby blue, like the iris of a snow leapord- beeeeeaaautiful!! So I'll tell you what's been happening; Social services DEFORMED DIVISION came round the day after I last wrote and plucked me from my caravan (mum was out- they couldn't even WAIT for her to come back and EXPLAIN everything to her) and I get dumped with these lesbians; FUCKING LESBIANS!!! I mean, roll on sweetness! Fucking luck of the draw or what? Don't they fucking know that every teenage boy's fantasy is fucking lesbians? Making them suck my dick while I slap them round the face and whip their arses with a wet towel!! They were CUTE lesbians as well! really TIGHT arses; one of them was a mixed-race girl and she was HOT hot HOT!!!!If they'd known what I was thinking about doing to them they'd have had social services round quicker than they could cum sitting on a rampant rabbit!
You see, what i don't GET about lesbos, is that they SHUN the dick, and then REPLACE the dick with a bit of PLASTIC...???? I mean, is it just me or does that not defy the point of being a lesbo in the first place?? You're still taking cock, albeit plastic strap-on permanently hard cock; so how can you call yourself a lesbian?? You're still humouring yourself with a FALSE IDOL; you're still honouring the gods of the PRICK aren't you??
I mean, maybe half the lesbians in the world are just girls that wish they'd been born with a dick; that's perfectly understandable: if I was a chick, I'd DEFINITELY have penis-envy and penis-envy is a hardcore, fully-fledged and left the nest FACT. F.A.C.T. It's common among most HETEROSEXUAL chicks, nevermind lesbo ones. So, the other half are just heterosexual chicks (seeing as they like to take dick with their afternoon tea and crumpets) who don't get the psychology of men or they're damaged or they're quitters or whatever. ALTHOUGH, I think it is an ACKNOWLEDGED F.A.C.T. that most women have either tried or would like to try some sort of lesbian encounter. Therefore, ALL WOMEN ARE BI-SEXUAL, and so there is no such thing as a LESBIAN. There is only penis envy and cock-lover. SIMPLE. S.I.M.P.L.E. hOW DELICIOUSLY SIMPLE and campbell's soup with croutons. SO,I'm in with the lesbos and everything's going fine; we actually got on WELL if you believe it or not, but obviously I quizzed them about their ORIENTATION, which they were perfectly happy to discuss in an open and thought-provoking atmosphere..... and then I put my theory to them and one of them bursts into tears, right there and then, and so I said sorry, I didn't mean to upset you; I really LIKE you two! I didn't mean to hit a raw button or anything, it's just I was thinking about it and that's the conclusion I came to.. I'm willing to accept that I'm wrong, yes I am... more than willing!
But it was sort of out of control already, and she was really blubbing; it was the more feminine one; floaty skirts and hippy charms and everything like that, and her partner didn't know what to do, she was just drowning in front of me in her own girlfriend's tears! For fuck's sake; when some people's flood gates open they REALLY FUCKING OPEN don't they? O.P.E.N.
So, the lezzers are obviously in some sort of psychosexual crisis or whatever and one of those amI/aren'tI conversations is looking likely on the cards, so I say..I'll go out now for a bit and leave you alone yeah?.. and they're just in the midst of their own little world so I fuck off out of there and get down to the caravan site to see mum and mum's in an absolute state- why, because her latest BEAU has shot her beloved fucking demented roosters; SHOT THEM!! I mean bird flu hasn't even ARRIVED yet but he's one of these IN FOR A PENNY-NIP IT IN THE BUD-BETTER YESTERDAY THAN TOMORROW type of geeks who wants everything S.O.R.T.E.D. ON THE MARCH DOUBLE QUICK DON'T DRINK OR SMOKE OR CUT TO THE QUICK what a diamond prick what a jewel encrusted killer of roosters -MYMUM'S ROOSTERS.
So obviously, I arrive back; and there's dead birds on the washing line, blood dribbling out of their guts and blubbering onto the grass, frothing and chuntering the blood was; like something LIVE it FREAKED me out i was F.R.E.A.K.E.D. So of course I want to know who's done it I don't care WHY just who and where the offending shot gun might be resting at this very minute; that's important too yes it is, and mum's in too many bits to even understand that it's ME YOUR SON IT'S H.A.R.R.Y. M.U.M. I.T'S H.A.R.R.Y
sometimes, but not often I feel like giving up on her, but if I did that I'd be giving up on myself at the same time wouldn't I? She loves booze I love her. She attracts pricks that'll shaft her, I'm a cunt-seeker with a prick that'll shaft 'em.
Anyway back to the story; I shot him in the foot fucking horse that bolts; I got him in his left foot and he goes down like a horse in a Western whinnying and writhing on the floor and now I'm on the run yes on the R.U.N. which is probably why this blogs a bad idea; but whoever heard of a criminal keeping a blog?
ciao for now
Harry

Dear world,

I have invented a new word. That new word is........................... INTELLECTACY... that is; the perfect fusion of intimacy and intellectual stimulation... In other words, a quasi-sexual/semi-erotic relationship based purely on stimulation of the mind... THE BRAIN AS A SEX ORGAN/EROGENOUS ZONE....
Not bad for someone who's been expelled this week from the fifth school in succession. Well FUCK EDUCATION: all education is run by BRAINWASHING PSYCHOS... most of them are fucking wannabe NAZI-DICTATORS; so let them have their fun but NOT WITH ME.
You see; mum has never had a close intellectual bond with any of her boyfriends... probably the closest bond she's got is with her brother; so obviously there's a lack of sexual chemistry there... but; just imagine if you could make someone cum just through conversation!!!! I mean; no physical contact whatsoever; and not necessarily talking about something erotic/sexual... although obviously people get excited about all kinds of things... BUT what's the difference between eroticism and the sexual??????? I suppose eroticism is more subtle; less overtly titillation???? Fuck knows; anyway... imagine if you had a relationship like that?? Surely that's like the IDEAL FUCKING DREEEEEEAAAAAM RELATIONSHIP???? AM I WRONG???
It's weird how people separate and cordon off their different friendships... I mean, Orion, for example, is purely a SEXUAL being to me... she could never be, in MY eyes, someone with whom I had a conversation; in fact, the idea of having a conversation with her kind of makes me feel queasy if I'm honest... I mean, all I would see is her mouth moving; except it wouldn't be her mouth, would it?? It would be her fucking vagina moving and talking to me... and I wouldn't be able to understand what she was saying to me.. I mean; it's happened before... When she starts talking all I see is fucking fanny twitching up and down!!!!! Therefore, intellectacy would be impossible with Orion...
MAYBEIT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK... MAYBE INTELLECTACY IS A HUMAN IMPOSSIBILITY... MAYBE EVERYONE COMPARTMENTALISES THEIR LIFE SO MUCH, THAT SOMEONE YOU FUCK JUST COULDN'T EVER HAVE ENOUGH OF YOUR RESPECT FOR YOU TO GENUINELY ENGAGE ON A PURE INTELLECTUAL LEVEL?????
I mean; when you try and do that it turns into a competition... SEX TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A COMPETITION... IT PITS PEOPLE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER.........PEOPLE HATE HATE HATE BEING SEEN SEEN SEEN IN THEIR CLOSEST ANIMAL STATE-WHICH IS THE STATE OF ORGASM.... FOR EXAMPLE; most people, after a while in a relationship don't mind letting their partner see them sitting on the toilet taking a shit... that is if they expect the partner to be hanging around for a while: if they anticipate longevity in the relationship..they don't seem to mind or care' they think it INCREASES their intimacy...
ALL IT DOES IS MAKE YOU THE WEAKER PARTY IN THE RELATIONSHIP...LOVE IS A GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE... AND IN THE ENDGAME THERE COMES ALONG A BIG BLACK DOG WHO SNAFFLES UP BOTH MOUSE AND CAT; WHAT A FUCKING FEAST...
anyone who does that in a relationship AUTOMATICALLY forfeits their right to have RESPECT from the other... Mostly, it would seem that women are always eager and panting to do this; thinking that this act will bond them together in shared grotesqueness... chicks; BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE A BEAST; AN ANIMAL FIRST AND FOREMOST... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT MEN TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY????? You want to prove that you're not prissy or think that he will realise the supposed implications/significance of the gesture...that you love him; NO HE WON'T HE'LL THINK YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID... That must surely be one of those moments; those pivots which make or break relationships...
Of course, men can make the same mistake as well... don't get me wrong! ... But I have to say that there are sparkling similarities between the partner; whether male or female, who decides to take this step... and they repeat the mistake in later relationships as well; which is interesting.
The partner who takes a SHIT is usually the inferior in the relationship; they WANT to be the superior, and assume that by openly taking a shit in front of the other, they will somehow gain the upper hand... WRONG!
Secondly, intuitively they realise that they will never be the superior; and therefore use the poo-trick as an act of overt sabotage. They are somehow trying to say several things at once with that act: 1) I love you so much that I feel able to do this in front of you.
2) I hate you for being the superior one; this is what I think of you and your superiority
3) I love being your inferior; look how I will debase myself in your presence to prove how inferior I really am
4) I hate being inferior; look what you make me do; look how low you make me sink in order to please you
5) I love you for being the superior one; look what you make me do; how low you make me sink in order to please you
6) Please love me for being animal/love yourself for being animal
7) Please hate me for being animal/hate yourself for being animal
8) This is the best relationship I've had; my shit confirms this, but I feel/believe that I don't deserve it... dump me, please.

People might feel ALL or any combination of those statements (un-/sub-consciously, of course). But people will claim that they do it in order to bring them and their partner closer together, when really it is a code for panic and terror at having to conduct a healthy adult relationship.
People who understand this don't shit openly. PRESERVE YOUR DIGNITY-DON'T DO IT!!
Of course; it depends on the viewer's own set of perceptions and/or hang ups as to how the two people negotiate their way through the situation/detonate it... But to me, someone taking a shit is someone openly lighting the touch-paper on a bomb. And the clock starts ticking.
Yours,
Harry

World hello,

A social worker came round today to see why I hadn't started at my new school...
WHY are all social workers such FAT UGLY fucks??? ?????????????
I mean; I'm not saying i want NAOMI FUCKING CAMPBELL round to mash my head in about the whys, wherefores, who's, what the fucks, and spasmic fucking ontological fucking physical examination pronto or phases of the moon anything like that; she's too fucking tall anyway... I'd probably reach her fucking inner thigh uppermost or something...I'm just saying: THE GOVERNMENT SENDS THESE PEOPLE ROUND TO HAVE A DEBATE:TO RATIONALISE AND DISCUSS AND LISTEN AND MAKE PROGRESS AND STUFF and they choose the UGLIEST TWATS thet can find: moustachio'd ladies/bearded do-gooder grandmas/train-spotting/acne sporting/lithp-lithping/short-sighted/club-footed FREAKS FREEEEEEEAAAAAKS!!!!
I mean, if we're talking survival of the fittest; these fuckwits wouldn't stand a fucking chance!!! They're like the bottom of the heap; they're like the potato peelings on the chipshop floor!
WHY is it that UGLY people find it EASIER to have a CONSCIENCE????????? have you ever thought about that??? By that I mean a genuine conscience; not just one of those SUNDAY consciences you know where people are VISIBLE CHARITY DONORS or can compete with the Jones's about how much cash they've sent to Rwanda, or how many Cambodian orphans they've adopted and such like etc.etc....
Maybe it's a ploy to make Billie Skiver think he's got an alright lot after all... MAYBE they send the ugliest twats they can round so that you end up feeling fucking GRATEFUL you aren't as bloody badly off as them...!!!?????
Anyway, I'm still not going to school.
Harry

Hello world,
I have been devoting a large amount of time to thinking about the human condition and the predicament we all find ourselves in: that is, the contradiction and/or anomaly and/or correlation between physical pleasure/sensation ie:lifestyle-hedonism AND intellectual growth/stimulation.
Is intellectual stimulation diametrically opposed to the pleasures of the flesh???? And how is intimacy defined: as being a feature of relationships which are purely PHYSICALLY driven??
... can there be INTELLECTUAL INTIMACY between two people, either of the same or opposite genders? Is ANY relationship /friendship EVER devoid of latent sexual longing/latent sexual desire due to flattery/stimulation of the brain by the other...?? Is the brain an erogenous zone or what????
I mean, Orion makes me well fucking horny... she's a HOT HOT chick... But it's an empty kind of longing... it feels real during the time it is happening in... itfeelslike something long-lasting and substantial... but it never leaves me feeling full or good or better.... ....??? I mean; I've never fucked the girl, but this feeling of emptiness after I masturbate over her... it freaks me out REALLY FREAKS ME... I'd be scared to fuck her in case the feeling came back; only ten times worse...
How many different brands or types of intimacy are there?? I suppose it operates on a spectrum, just like everything else; there are degrees and degrees within those degrees of everything' different shades of emotion..
... Just lately, all of my pleasure has been derived from activities such as: masturbation/causing pain to others/opportunism/desire for something physical to HAPPEN to me... I never really thought about the fact that what happens inside your head is something which affects your physicality... which can do us good physically or bad: or which can change the way your brain is organised... I'd never really thought about it before. I never thought that what went on in your head was ever really anything HAPPENING... I mean EXPLOSIONS are things that happen outside and to other people... unless you count Orion's hamster, Domino: the microwave was a fucking MESS man... that little creature just got hotter and hotter and hotter; slowly from the outside of its fur to the inside and all its organs and shit and then gradually the heat moved inwards, advancing on its little tiny heart and then... FUCKING WHOOOOOOOOOSH SPLAT!FUCK!SPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLAT! fucking dead hamster EVERYWHERE...
I mean; why did I do that? Why do we feel compelled to hurt the people we claim to love... it's not love is it? Maybe we hate them for putting us through hell... maybe we hate them because we're afraid to love; maybe we hate them because we don't know how to love them......
Since remembering Uncle Colin, I found all the Rachmaninov he ever brought and I've been listening to it again... Somehow it pulled me out of something; I don't know what... it felt like I was in the belly of some monster and that I couldn't get out.. like I was always looking behind me and my dreams were telling me all of the stuff going on under the surface, you know... Only I didn't realise. You've got to look haven't you, and realise?
Anyway, mum's been having a rough time... she can't look in the mirror any more -I think she's having some sort of a mid-life crisis or something' but its a bit over-due if you ask me.
I think we've both been thinking too little and then SUDDENLY started thinking too MUCH. weird... it's all happened at once. It's funny that; when you don't think about stuff and then it all comes falling out at the same time; and suddenly you don't know where you are and you feel like someone's following you and keeping tabs and stuff...
She's stopped wearing make-up and everything. No one knows who the bloody hell she is!!!! We've just been sitting in the caravan listening to Rachmaninov. It's really nice, just the two of us. She's told all her punters to -piss off! and DON'T COME BACK! so that's what they did. No one disobeys her, absolutely no one.
Ok, that's all for now,
Harry

Harry here,
It seems to me there are a lot of people who just re-count the story of their fucking bowel movements without any thoughts of self-reflection; they seem to find that its an interesting enough story without any other ideas from them; are we just fucking BOWELS and DICKS and CUNTS ?????? dON'T WE HAVE FUCKING brains OR SOMETHING???
i LIKE SHITTING AS MUCH AS THE NEXT MAN, and when I shit I like to enjoy the slow build up of shit gathering in my system and let it sit there for a while first, I like to feel it tunnelling towards my anus and forming a queue until it begins banging away at my sphincter; but I have to wonder WHY do I enjoy this??? well, I enjoy being in charge of shit. I like controlling my shit; I like the sensuous textural landscape of shit moving down and up my pipes, I like to revel in my moving shit and feel it forming up in my abdomen somehwere and then feel it slowly dropping; FALLING LOWER LOWER LOWER until it reaches my sweet little anus. It's a physical and psychological pleasure: YOU ARE NOT COMING OUT UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN... OK?????
I'm thinking of developing my capacity for self-reflection...
Harry

Dear world,
today, my world is revolving slowly; sometimes speeding up and occasionally going very faaaaaaaaasssst AROUND the TOILET BOWL... thanks to tequ-qu-qu-qui-i-i-ila-la-la-la-laaaaaa!!!!!!!! Every orifice is presenting me with problems; firstly, ofcourse, my sphincter is on overdrive, opening and closing; but mostly OPENING on demand... and, naturally; closing at the right times... I'm like a conductor and the body is my orchestra... the SPHINCTER IS MY CYMBAL CRASH.... if I were a piece of music I would be something like Wagner or Tchaikovsky or Elgar or something like that... I know that because my mum's brother is a cellist with the Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra... whenever he comes to visit he brings loads of cd's and tapes and old records and stuff... AND we went to see him playing a couple of times; he's pretty cool and I like listening to all the tapes and stuff he brings; that's a fucking education; plus he tells me all about the different instruments and how french horn players are usually bi-sexual and bassoonists are dangerous fuckers who you should never double-cross... Also, female flautists are control freaks; that's what uncle Colin says anyway... he might be wrong, but he's fucked all the flautists he's ever met ...(that's what he SAAAAAYS...) and he reckons the female ones are fucking dominatrixes, and all the male ones are fucking roll-over pussies!!!!!!!!????? Maybe flute-playing brings out the opposite sex in you....??? or something... Or female flautists have an Oedipal penis-envy complex or whatever; and male ones go for the flute coz its a sort of soft fluttery flickery instrument. Fuck knows; I'll ask Colin to have a chat with his doctor friend; get them to mull it over for a while... Someone will be writing a thesis on it right now.....................
My favourite is Rachmaninov.
Shit, I've got to SHIT HELLO toilet bowl, did you miss me.... aaaaaaaaaah you're still warm; still steaming with the sweat from my bony olive ARSE the problem with shitting and puking in a static caravan is that when you shit it stinks the whole FUCKING caravan park out... and people start taking their washing in and ushering their kids and their donkeys inside and scattering their animals and all that shit and their birds fly away and they don't come out for about an hour... ACTUALLY now I come to think of it it's fucking brilliant; I'll have the place to myself today; SHIT yesterday I had the shock of my young life BLOODY HELL I wandered into the toilets in the bar and took a wrong fucking turn and ended up in the Ladies, I mean I was smashed out of my head and I could hardly focus or fucking stand straight and pushed open this door to the fucking cubicle; coz I wanted a shit, and this bird's bending over putting a fucking TAMPAX inside her and she's got her fucking legs wide open you know and her skirt rolled up and her tights round her ankles and one leg resting up on the toilet with her knee against the wall and the other just stationary on the floor and she's struggling right with her aim and she's a bit fuckign blethered poor fucking chick and she's a bit wobbly and woozy and that so I'm like -Do you want a hand luv??
and she's like -I caaaan't get this tampax iiiiiiiiiiiin! I'm FUCKED! I mean; she was a fucking lush and that's it; lushes just find every fucking activity they undertake absolutely fucking incomprehensibly unutterably DIFFICULT and OVERWHELMING... it doesn't matter what it is, I mean making a cup if tea and they freak out or brushing their teeth or having a bath -it's just all so fucking complicated and too much like a waste of time or hard work or whatever; but DRINKING!!! that's a fucking cynch; and when they've had ENOUGH down their necks, they can undertake ABOLUTELY ANY job you ask them... like -put up them shelves for me will you? I can't do it. -Yeah no problem, fine, I'll get my tool kit and sooooooort it fooooor ya. -Cheers. Lushes are eeeeeeeeaaaaasy, they're a piece of piss if you know how to handle them; it's a case of catching them at that point between sobriety and oblivion. They're perfect if you catch them at the right time... Anyway, she's looking at me through her bleached hair; and she's got these dark roots and I reeeeeaaaaally like dark roots, they fucking do something to me get my loins stirred and shaken and ready for it man; I don't know why, and her make up's all fudged up one her face and all oily and like a fucking artist's pallette her face is, and then she falls over 'coz her balance is fucked and she half gets up and kneels like a dog, dirty slut; and I'm looking at her and I'm like -You've got a hole in your tights love. so she says -Yeah, I've got another one too; HERE and she points at her pussy and its still there, wet and open and FUCKING WAITING FOR ME..... so she slides along the floor and comes and puts her head up against my jeans; right against my crotch dirty bitch, and then she licks my zip and bites into the denim and I'm thinking come on slut, get hold of my dick take it in your mouth; and then she FUCKING DOES; she unzips me and pulls down my boxers and I was soo fucking hard and she started doing the business with ehr tongue little circles and with her hands right at the bottom of my shaft oooooooh fuck and then I'm squirting everywhere and she's got cum all over her face and in her hair and I'm rubbing her face into my balls and my dick and then she starts crying... CRYING????? and starts hammering on the floor with her hands and clawing at the tiles with her nails.. I mean, FUCK I didn't know what to do so i gave her a cigarette you know to calm her down and get her head a bit straighter and then she just sat there and smoked it and I fucked off. I mean, my cum was all stuck to her face and I just thought about that for hours afterwards. I felt really fucking happy thinking about that.
Harry

Hey, it's Harry,

Yesterday I got into the biggest fucking fight of my life; I'd swiped a drink off one of the tables in the bar and this fat mean bastard saw me; and even though it wasn't his fucking drink in the first place, decides to take a shot at me!! Like he'd been waiting for some poor bastard to come along and fuck his day up just so he could play at being a fucking hero arse hole... I'm going to get my revenge by screwing his fat bitch daughter UP THE ARSE- Fat fucking viking family they are' all ginger with freckles and beards and fucking hairy pits and pale viking skin... Nasty people; sadistic people... Anyway, he takes a swipe at me and I stood there and took it, and then I grabbed this chair and whacked his shins with the chair legs really fucking hard and there's this crack when the metal hit the skin and I think I broke some bones or something; anyway, the viking lets rip this fucking howling scream of pain and falls backwards and people start crowding round and calling ambulances and shit; anyway, the guy went to hospital and he's still there now. You know, if ginger people were supposed to succeed as a species, there would be fucking more of them than there are... I mean, thank fuck that most gingers seem to want to pro-create with their own kind and that they're not infiltrating anybody elses gene pool too fucking much. I'd ram that girl with a fucking viking helmet if I could; no, with TWO viking helmets, one horn for each hole fucking virgin bitch deserves everything she gets. ALSO: another night, another dream... this time, I'm fucking a dead baby; its like a foetus more than a baby actually, but the fucking things eyes open half way throught the fucking and it starts wailing and staring its eyes popping into bubbles and shit; its got these big blue orbs for eyes and its like the whole sky is contained in each eye; it was a fucked up dream. Eventually, I realised I wasn't gonna cum and when I tried to pull my dick out of the baby, it wouldn't come out!!! I was fucking shitting my pants and I kept yanking away from the baby, trying to extricate myself from it; I thought I was going to remain attached to it forever, and the baby started spitting at me the harder I tried to pull away from it and these big jets of spit kept coming out and hitting me right in the middle of the head; and then I tasted it and it was Piss and in the end, I ended up killing the baby with a hammer and it just exploded and there was bits of foetus and shit everywhere and that was the end of the dream. Fucking fucked up...
hasta luego, for now,
Harry

Mucho Greetings,

Mum is sobbing her heart out and the sound of roosters KAKAAKAKAAAKAKAAAAKAAKAAAAAAA-ing is driving me fucking crazy. These roosters are obviously running by a different time zone than we are... They SLEEP IN for fuck's sake!!! They SLEEP IN!!!!??? They're such bums those roosters, no sense of duty or decorum.
We never asked for them; one of mum's clients brought them as a gift; as a token of his esteeeeeeeeeeemmmmm... I, I, I,I,I esteeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmm you Carol -he has a speech impediment and a penchant for words like esteeeeeem, and fooooorthwiiiith, and faaaaaaareeweeeeeeell, and adiiieeeuuuuu. I adiieeeeeeuu you Carol; I fooooorthwiiiiith you Carol. Yeah; Fuuuuuuuuk OOOOOoooooooooff pal.
Most of yesterday I spent dredging the bar on-site. I don't think we're reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaally supposed to be here; but no-one's complained about us yet. I think mum's got an arrangement with the guy who runs the site.
Anyway, the bar and all the arcades were FULL OF CHICKS!!! H-H-H-H-H-H-H-OT HOT HOT CHICKS!!! EVEYRWHERE!!! with little skimpy tops on and frozen nipples like petit-pois pointing out of their tight cotton t-shirts! Oooooooooh shit! I was standing by the bar, smoking a fag I'd picked up off the floor; real cool; just gazing into the distance, you know: the far-off type, that's me; the absent type; but passionate and violent, yeessssssss...that's me,and all these girls are fucking shaking their little asses as they walk past and playing with their hair and lowering their eyelashes man!! They were fucking BESOTTED, fucking fish on the end of my line! They're all so fucking bored and fucking unimpressed with the heaven that is a fucking Haven Holiday camp and all they want is a bit of action; a bit of excitement!! And they're all so stupid; you know, not endearingly stupid, but congenitally, inveterately, one hundred per cent RETARDS... I mean; here they are, in my hands, all of them; like Liliputians crawling around at my feet, just wanting to taste some cock 'coz they want to know what it tastes like or wanting to feel some loving. Their mums and their dads are sat like donkeys swilling and troughing away in the bars and restaurants; Baying away like deviant mad animals let loose in a neon-flooded nightmare... And everywhere you go is the sound of the pounding and pumping out of money; the hard cold peltings of coins, cash splashed and spat out and running round the place like oxygen or blood. And I was thinking; I'd rather see blood running round this place, I'd rather see blood running round than cash.
They've been brought to their knees, the little girls; already they've been brought to their knees I think, like me; and when you've been brought to your knees, all you want to do is fall...
Maybe that shows a weakness of character or a defect in the survival instinct or something; but to me, it's just a natural reaction. How can you fight against something that doesn't STAND for anything????? How can you bring it down?? How do you form an opposition???
For now, adieeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuu,
Harry

To: the cosmos,

I had a dream last night that I fucked a hedgehog and got needled all over my prick! It had a really tight arse though... So, it was sort of worth it, but I was screaming and running all over the place showing everyone my cock, which had fucking HUNDREDS of needles sticking out of it; it looked like a FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE and every person I went to for advice or help just said:-"Harry; Buy some baubles. You are a DISGRACE." That's ALL they said, every single person; they were driving me crazy with it. Then, at the end of the dream, after I felt like the world was intent on pissing on me, this Chinese dude comes up to me on a skateboard and says:-"Harry," And I say... "Yes??" and the Chinese dude says:- "You will never make it in acupuncture Harry" and hands me a fucking bauble!!! A FUCKING BAUBLE!!!? Well shit.
I hung the bauble on one of the needles and guess what happens... guess what fucking happens???!!!
My dick falls off! It falls CLEAN off and I look down to find it has landed in the Chinese dude's fucking WOK! And the wok's sizzling away.sssssssssxxxzzzzzzzzzzssssssssszzzzzzz spit crackle spit pop crackle spit pop zsssssssxxxxxxxsszzzzzzzz and the guy's tossing it around in sesame oil and then pours batter over it and there it is, cooking and sizzling away... He's turning my dick into a SPRING-FUCKING-ROLL! I mean... seriously, the Chinese are the super-species of the 21st century; they keep it quiet, but that's their secret; they're like cockroaches, they'll survive ANYTHING!! FUCKING ANYTHING! The secret to their success lies in their secrecy and in their ability to infiltrate almost any society-ANY society and remain almost completely hidden; anonymous; INVISIBLE. They are invisible cockroaches and they are plumping up their invisible nests... believe me!! As I write, they're busy doing it now... They have formed a sub-sub-culture within every society and once every person is in place, they will attack!! ATTACK!! ATTACK!!!
I think I'd like to be Chinese...
Buenos noches,
Harry

Buenos Dias world,

Harry calling... My mum had this dickshit round last night and he was screaming the fucking place down -How could you fucking do that to me you fucking bitch! Just fucking use me then spit me out like those fucking female arachnids do with their male lovers, they just gobble them up and that's it; first course, second course! That's me! That's FUCKING MEEEEEEEEEE! HE WAS LOSING IT all over the shop; pulling what hair he had left out and just leaving it all over the floor... By the end of the screaming session the place looked like a barber's shop-floor!
My mum's cool as anything, just sits there, real cool, nice and flat like the sea on a calm day; just letting these fucking twats stand there shouting their heads off and biting their tongues out and spewing their guts up all over the place and then she just says -"Have you quite finished?" and that's it, histrionics over, job done. She sees them off the premises and they don't bother showing again.
You'd be amazed at the number of people who fall in love with prostitutes... I thought people who went to see prozzies did it because they didn't WANT love and didn't want anything to do with LOVE...? I mean, it's the last thing you expect isn't it. Fella avoiding his mrs goes to prozzie for quick shag- next minute fella's gazing into the eyes of the prozzie and declaring undying devotion!! ???? Maybe its the untouchability of the prostitute... at least you always know she's gonna be a whore in the bedroom anyway.
This guy last night had a fucking screw loose or something... I found a clump of hair in the tea-pot this morning; and one in the shower...?? Mum's a bit distraught, for her. She was shouting me this morning ..."Harry go and get me some fags...."
Usually she doesn't smoke 'til after lunch-time; that's one of her rules. ...Maybe she's getting a bit shaky about these things now she's getting older. She must be nearly sixty.
She wasn't expecting me; By that I mean she didn't plan it or even realise I existed ;til I was about four months in the womb-in utero. she thought she couldn't conceive- she thought she'd gone through the change already; that it was all over and done with; wash your hands of all that. And then fucking hell, she goes to the doctors and they point out that you can still conceive a child for up to three years after the menopause. Shit I wish I'd seen her face!
Anyway, there you go... it was either Carlos or Fernando; hence my dark Mexican eyebrows and paprika skin.
I've got her blue eyes though, like balls of bubble gum from a machine. Carlos is a bull-fighter now; he tours around the South of France and Spain and Fernando's in royal shackles at her majesty's leisure... HRH Royal Male in Chains behind bars in utero.
I wonder if there is a place called Utero...? Utero, Utah....
Ok, see ya
Harry